Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food. Show all posts
Friday, January 1, 2016
Darth Vader Endorsement
If Darth Vader were to allow his name to be used for promotional purposes, I'm pretty sure whoever approved this product would get force choked.
Saturday, October 31, 2015
Halloween Candy Roundup
There's two approaches for buying Halloween candy. You can buy candy you don't like—I'm thinking of you Bit-O-Honey—in which case you can buy it far in advance of Halloween, or you can buy candy you like, preferably on the day of Halloween so that you don't have to buy more candy once you've eaten it all.
In addition to a variety of chocolate candies for everyone in the house, I bought a bag of Sweetarts, Nerds, and Laffy Taffy:
This year's Skulls & Bones Sweetarts consisted only of lemon, grape, and cherry flavors, my favorites. Blue punch and green apple, which I don't particularly care for, were missing.
I love Nerds of any flavor, but after breaking a crown on one I limit myself to a couple of small boxes on Halloween.
I also haven't met a flavor of Laffy Taffy that I wouldn't eat, but this year's Halloween themed caramel apple is not one of my favorites. For some reason (maybe too much heat) the wrappers and taffy were fused in the few I tried making it very difficult to eat the candy. I'll definitely be passing these on to the trick-or-treaters.
As always, the Halloween Laffy Taffy has themed jokes:
In addition to a variety of chocolate candies for everyone in the house, I bought a bag of Sweetarts, Nerds, and Laffy Taffy:
This year's Skulls & Bones Sweetarts consisted only of lemon, grape, and cherry flavors, my favorites. Blue punch and green apple, which I don't particularly care for, were missing.
I love Nerds of any flavor, but after breaking a crown on one I limit myself to a couple of small boxes on Halloween.
I also haven't met a flavor of Laffy Taffy that I wouldn't eat, but this year's Halloween themed caramel apple is not one of my favorites. For some reason (maybe too much heat) the wrappers and taffy were fused in the few I tried making it very difficult to eat the candy. I'll definitely be passing these on to the trick-or-treaters.
As always, the Halloween Laffy Taffy has themed jokes:
Q: What type of witch makes the best lunch?
A: A sand-witch.
Q: What kind of car does a ghost driver?
A: A Boo-ick (Buick).
Q: Why do witches fly on brooms?
A: Because vacuum cleaners are too heavy!
Q: What did the trick or treat bucket say to the candy?
A: Hello sweet thing!
Q: Why did they carve a big mouth into the pumpkin?
A: So he could scream and howl!
Q: Why didn't the skeleton cross the road?
A: Because he had no guts.
Q: Who mans a ghost ship?
A: There's a skeleton crew.
Q: What do ghosts add to their morning cereal?
A: Boo-berries!
Q: What kind of music do mummies listen to?
A: Wrap!
Q: How do you fix a Jack O'Lantern?
A: With a pumpkin patch.
Q: How does a girl vampire flirt?
A: She bats her eyes.
Q: Who did Frankenstein take to the prom?
A: His ghoul friend.
Q: What is a ghoul's favorite flavor?
A: Lemon-slime.
Q: What do you call a skeleton who won't work?
A: Lazy bones.
Q: What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman?
A: Frostbite.
Thursday, May 7, 2015
Monday, April 27, 2015
Monday, January 19, 2015
Friday, August 22, 2014
Friday, July 4, 2014
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Easter Egg?
Nothing captures the spirit of Easter—a celebration of the resurrection of Jesus Christ—like a child-murdering Sith Lord.
Tuesday, April 15, 2014
Kentucky Fried Chickeny Meat
This is how it starts. You ask for honey and get honey sauce.
You ask for butter and get buttery spread.
At least the honey sauce contains contains 7% real honey, although my guess would be that’s disclosed on the packet for legal reasons. The buttery spread apparently contains no actual butter.
What’s next, chickeny meat?
You ask for butter and get buttery spread.
At least the honey sauce contains contains 7% real honey, although my guess would be that’s disclosed on the packet for legal reasons. The buttery spread apparently contains no actual butter.
What’s next, chickeny meat?
Friday, February 14, 2014
Valentine’s Day Candy
The month of February brings two seasonal candies of note. One is Conversation Hearts, the crack cocaine of the candy world. The box is labeled as a single serving, but you can buy them in packages of eight and that’s typically the amount you’ll eat in a single sitting. Just make sure they’re Brach’s Classic Flavors—The Necco brand isn’t as tasty and the tart varieties of the hearts are just plain wrong.
SweeTARTS Hearts also become available this time of year and like traditional conversation hearts have messages on them. However if you think all SweeTARTS are the same, think again. These aren’t just SweeTARTS pressed into a different shape—Bite into these and they crumble apart into a powder that melts away in your mouth. Mmmmm. It’s a welcome change from the SweeTARTs that come in rolls; those require some serious mastication to get at their sugary treasures.
And while we’re on the subject of SweeTARTS, when I’m Earth Overlord the production of blue raspberry and green apple SweeTARTS will be prohibited. The usurpers will be replaced with the original rightful flavors of lemon and lime.
SweeTARTS Hearts also become available this time of year and like traditional conversation hearts have messages on them. However if you think all SweeTARTS are the same, think again. These aren’t just SweeTARTS pressed into a different shape—Bite into these and they crumble apart into a powder that melts away in your mouth. Mmmmm. It’s a welcome change from the SweeTARTs that come in rolls; those require some serious mastication to get at their sugary treasures.
And while we’re on the subject of SweeTARTS, when I’m Earth Overlord the production of blue raspberry and green apple SweeTARTS will be prohibited. The usurpers will be replaced with the original rightful flavors of lemon and lime.
Thursday, October 3, 2013
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