Low IQ Republicans

News from Syria is sickening. Turkish troops preparing to invade Syria from the north, Russian-backed forces from the south, ISIS fighters attacking Raqqa. Impossible to understand why @realDonaldTrump is leaving America’s allies to be slaughtered and enabling the return of ISIS

— Liz Cheney (@Liz_Cheney) October 9, 2019

Try pulling your head out of Trump's ass. Right or wrong, this move is completely consistent with everything he's said and done.

He Lives

I’m have come here to chew bubblegum and cut taxes... and I’m all out of bubblegum.

And Yet It Still Wasn't Even Close

In analyzing the Alabama Primary race,FAKE NEWS always fails to mention that the candidate I endorsed went up MANY points after endorsement!

— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) September 30, 2017

It seems odd to single out one of Trump's tweets as bizarre, but this tweet is just bizarre. Second place is just the polite way to say that you're the winner of the losers. But if that's the way you want to roll, congratulations on losing so successfully.

Confederate Statues

We should have left these up, because apparently bad things happen when you try to erase history.

Remember How Steve Jobs Made Apple Great Again

Remember how Steve Jobs opened every keynote presentation with a recount of his triumphant return to Apple. Remember how Steve Jobs constantly reminded us of the failed policies of his predecessors Gil Amelio and John Scully.

Remember how Steve Jobs said "We have to embrace this notion that for Apple to win Microsoft has to lose." Remember how Steve Jobs said "And if we screw up and we don’t do a good job, it’s not our fault. It’s somebody else’s fault."

Remember how Steve Jobs constantly announced great new products coming out real soon, that never came out ever. Remember how every time Steve Jobs said something about technology, it was apparent he knew nothing about technology. Remember how Steve Jobs was a visionary who took a hands-off approach to the design of his company's products.

Yeah, I don't remember any of that either.

Draining the Swamp

From Trump's new book The Art of Ethics:

World's Suckiest Job

President Trump's Press Secretary. Poor Sean Spicer. Anyone remember Baghdad Bob?

Affordable Health Care 2016

Blue Cross/Blue Shield HMO wasn't horrible, but it wasn't all that good either; lots of doctors switching out of the system so it was a bit of a hassle finding a PCP in the medical center. I switched over to Kelsey-Seybold for 2017. It's still an HMO, but all the doctors are in the same building just down the street. For me, having to buy insurance on the individual market, the best part of Obamacare is being able to easily switch between plans; at least for now since there's still more than one carrier in Texas. Too bad the other parts aren't working that well. The big question now is what Trumpcare will bring.

Karma

So birtherism's most ardent cheerleader is now going to have the Russian election interference forever hanging over his presidential legitimacy.

What goes around, comes around.

All Hail Trump.

RoboTrump

Don't Blame Me, I Voted for Kodos

I held my nose yesterday and voted for Clinton as the lesser of two evils. I can't say that I'm disappointed she lost. A tepid Clinton victory with Republican congressional control probably would have been the worst possible outcome. Another four years of gridlock with Trump and his followers claiming how much better things would have been with a different president.

And that's why Trump may also have lost last night. Now he's got to deliver.

Orange Trash

Donald Trump. The only republican nominee in modern history who couldn't easily defeat Hillary Clinton.

Throwing Your Vote Away

From Bloomberg Politics:

President Barack Obama warned in a radio interview on Wednesday that Americans who vote for Libertarian Gary Johnson or Green Party candidate Jill Stein in November risk putting Donald Trump into the White House, as he sought to blunt momentum for third-party candidates.

“If you don’t vote, that’s a vote for Trump,” Obama said in an interview on the Steve Harvey Morning Show. “If you vote for a third-party candidate who’s got no chance to win, that’s a vote for Trump.”

Sorry, but both major parties made the decision to nominate highly polarizing candidates. If you don't want to drive voters to third party candidates, you need to nominate candidates with broader appeal to the general electorate. It's hypocritical to make a principled vote in the primary for the candidate who reflects your views and then expect someone else to make a pragmatic vote in the general election because of your poor choice.

Hannibal Lecter vs. Michael Corleone Presidential Debate

LECTER: Rather than focusing on my culinary tastes, we should be focusing on my opponent's mob ties.

CORLEONE: Rather than focusing on my business practices, we should be focusing on my opponent's cannibalism.

Republican National Convention Summary

Winter is Coming.

Trump Chooses Pence as Running Mate

Why would anyone want to be Kif to Trump's Brannigan?

Poster by Barry Doyon

Lawyerese

You'd think "Enter at your own risk" would be sufficient warning for a petting zoo...

But apparently not.

Backdoor Scam

Why is it that every time the government tries to convince me that they need to be able to bypass the security on smart phones to protect me from terrorists and pedophiles, I feel like they're trying to sell me an extended warranty for a $59 blu-ray player.

Current Boxholder

When I am Earth Overlord, postal mail addressed to current resident or boxholder will be forbidden. Catalogs and other junk mail will be opt-in. Violators of these edicts will be thrown into a 6' by 8' jail cell.

The same cell.

For all violators.

My guards will just keep pushing until all of them fit.

Encryption Backdoors

When encryption is outlawed, only outlaws will have encryption.