Found Footage Needs to Get Lost

When I'm Earth Overlord, I'm going to ban found footage films for the greater artistic good.

It is not beneath my notice that many of the unwashed masses enjoy these films. In fact, that’s the problem. When a movie costing $15,000 grosses $193,355,800, that guarantees an endless supply of copycat films attempting to exploit the public’s lack of taste.

Seriously, once you’ve seen herky-jerky nausea-inducing footage from a video cam held by someone running full flight through a forest at night, you can check that off your bucket list and live a complete life without ever having that experience again.

If there’s anything that M. Night Shyamalan has taught us, it’s that one gimmick movies quickly lose their luster (if they had any in the first place). When’s the last time anyone saw a movie in Smell-O-Vision?

And don’t get me started on the 3D movie craze.