Keystone Kriminals

The TV show Sons of Anarchy is a cross between Breaking Bad, Jerry Springer, Gilligan’s Island, and Hogan’s Heroes. It’s unintentionally funny in many ways. Apparently the Anarchy in the show’s title doesn’t refer to chaos sowed by the Sons of Anarchy motorcycle gang through their gun running and other illegal activities, but rather the problems caused by their crime-related ineptitude and sociopathic interpersonal relationships. If cookies were illegal, these guys would have problems competing with the Girl Scouts without destroying everyone and everything around them.

Here’s a drinking game you can play while watching Sons. Take a shot when:

A Son’s plan goes wrong.

A Son says you have my guarantee.

A Son says no one’s going to get hurt.

A Son says none of this will blow back on you.

A Son says this will benefit everyone.

A Son says family is everything.

A Son says you’re like family to me.

A Son says I love you.

A Son swears off family or friends.

A Son plots against family or friends.

A Son murders family or friends.

And who smuggles guns into the United States? That’s like smuggling cocaine into Columbia.

Worst. Criminals. Ever.

But still entertaining.